Friday, 12 March 2010

Fantasy BU Council League (5-a-side rules)

You manage your own team selected from the current list of members of Baptist Union Council. Points are earned during Council on the basis of how well your team performs up-front.

Squad Selection
  • You have a starting kitty of 30 pieces of silver
  • You may purchase up to five team members for your squad, drawn from the current list of BU Council members.
  • Different members have a different value (see below).
  • You may also purchase one ‘wild card’ player who is not currently on the BU Council list of members.
  • You must nominate one of your team to be captain. This player will score double the number of points they would otherwise have achieved.
Player values (in pieces of silver)
  • 15 Moderator of Council
  • 12 Moderator of Trustees
  • 10 Chaplain to Council
  • 10 General Secretary of the Baptist Union of Great Britain
  • 10 Baptist Union President
  • 10 Head of department (e.g. Faith and Unity, Mission etc)
  • 10 Treasurer of the Baptist Union
  • 10 Regional Ministers
  • 8 General Manager of the Baptist Union
  • 7 Wildcard Player (not from list of current BU Council Members)
  • 5 All other Council Members
  • Points are awarded for ‘up-front’ performance.
  • The more someone makes their presence felt, the more points they score.
  • Points are awarded proportionate to the size of the gathering. e.g. speaking in morning prayers earns less points than contributing to main plenary debate.
  • Players can lose points as well as scoring them. Points will be deducted should any player use the following words: ‘Baptistic’, ‘missionary God’, ‘missional’, ‘crossing places’, ‘community’, ‘just’, ‘really’, ‘wanna’, ‘alternative’, ‘cross-cultural’, ‘buzz-groups’, ‘ecclesial’, ‘that would be an ecumenical matter’.
  • A red card will be awarded to any player who sits on the back row with their laptop open for more than two consecutive sessions.
  • Players score double for ‘inspired utterances’ including unsolicited extempore prayer, praying in tongues, and delivering words of knowledge / prophecy.
  • Points are awarded for style: The more unexpected / spectacular a player’s contribution, the more points they will be awarded.
  • Points can also be earned for ‘community contributions’ including the supply of malt-based beverages, cake, blue cheese, fermented grape juice, and Pringles.


Sean Winter said...

Awwww shit, Simon, I can't resist. I want:

1. The little welsh guy, Martin someone, who once said that he had a big but - 5 points

2. John Greenwood - 5 points

3. Phil Jump (10 points_ - though I am nervous about the back row lap top rule

4. The Head of the Ministry Department on the basis that (a) they usual find themselves with some lengthy explaining to do and (b) its about time he bought a bottle of single malt to join proceedings (10 points)

PLease feel free to share my dream team in a public forum - thus earning points for anyone who puts you on their list.

Polly said...

How can you deduct points for 'that would be an ecumenical matter’? It's comedy gold :)

On that basis people should get extra points for shouting,
'Girls!', etc,
kicking the Gen Sec up the backside,
demanding that everyone watch Aliens or Screaming 'Nuns! Reverse, Reverse!'
It shouldn't be too hard, with all that Malt about. I reckon doing the last one during plenary trumps ANYTHING else that could be done.

Glen Marshall said...

There shld also be a law of instant bankrupty and ejection from the league for anyone with a team member who is found guilty doing a Terry (John not Jones) - conduct unbecoming with anyone related to another member of council.

Craig Gardiner said...

Penalty kick for creeping presbyterianism ... 3 point bonus for being part of a minority dissent where the number of dissenters is less that 10

Craig Gardiner said...

Oh and instant 3 point bonus for anyone who solve our pension crisis

Julie said...

You forgot 'Baptist DNA' in your list of banned words!

Catriona said...

Definitely points to be deducted for Gen Secs who say, 'that's like, duh....' or anyone who has the audacity to suggest BUGB and BMS merge by stealth (we're watching you from BUS-land!)

Neil said...

I'll have:

Jex Brown (10)
Paul Goodliff (10)
You (5)
Rachel Haig (5)

Can extra points be awarded to anyone who mentions brands of Islay Malts or specific types of cheese in their contributions to plenary debates?

Neil said...

And the scores are? (subject to moderation by our legal team)