Friday, 24 March 2017

Texting Dad

My Dad has an ancient phone, which only does calls and text messages. From time to time, we exchange text messages - often when I'm on holiday. Some of these seemed worth sharing…

  • Simon
  • Dad

Prague (Sept 2011)
  • Arrived in Praha! Have I got everything? Luggage - check! Guide book - check! Currency - Czech! All OK then...
  • If you made friends with the barman and played chess with him,  would he end up as your Czech Mate?
  • P.S. Thanks for sending your Czech Liszt earlier, but wasn't he Hungarian?
  • Hope all is well and you are having a good day - Just Czeching!
  • I assume that after your online passport date error, you had no problem at Luton Czech-in?
  • Q.  Why did the person from Prague make an appointment with the doctor?  
  • For a Czech up?
  • When are you Czeching out of the hotel, why not ask if it is OK to pay by Czech.
  • Q.  Do you know why it takes ages to do your shopping in a Praha supermarket?  A. Because there is always a queue at the Czech-out!
  • Having had a Czech-ered few days (not really! Had a lovely time) it is good to Czech in to England. Now for a time czech ... One hour out! S

Spain (March 2012)
  • Got here OK. Hotel lovely, hire car nice, weather completely balmy!
  • Hello Muder, Hello Fader, We have made it, To Granada! Paid twice with plastic, Which sounds quite drastic, But it turns out the Alhambra is fantastic.
  • Can't get enough of these Spanish castles. They're sooo Moorish!
  • Gibraltar ROCKS!
  • The 1527 Gibraltar earthquake: Rock AND Roll
  • As the Fab 4 nearly once said: Back in the UK, Back in the UK, Back in the UKOK!

Battle (March 2012)
  • Hear you are stuck in battle! Has your coach got an arrow in its headlight? S
  • Moral  -  if you are going into Battle take an extra cohort or at least a squadron. Or a  battery
  • Was your Battlery flat?

Brussels  (Sept 2012)
  • Brussels bustles!
  • Belgian's waffle!
  • The hotel gym: muscles from Brussles!
  • EEK! An E.E.C.
  • In the spring, Brussels sprouts.
  • 24/7 confectioners: Belgians choc' late!
  • Belgian beer's bloody brilliant! But beware, Brussels' bistros buy boldly brewed beverages.
  • #Brugeshasaniceburg.
  • Carillon up the Belfry!
  • Visions of the future c1958, @ @omium.

Snow (Jan 2013)
  • Don't worry if your photos come out in black and white
  • Why?
  • Why? Cos neither Dunton, Bessels, Borough, or Green Street, are living up to their names. Don't tell me there snow snow  in London
  • Snow!!! Snow!! Snow! S'no joke!

Slovenia (July 2013)
  • Luvly-jubljana
  • Ljubljana Tjubljana Threebljana Four
  • This lake is Bleddy brilliant!
  • Today I visited 3 countries in 3 seconds, and was chased through an electric fence by an angry cow! (Of the bovine ilk, one end moo, the other milk).

Florence & Pisa (Sept 2013)
  • We're here! Easy-Pisa!
  • Michelangelo painted tiny cherubs, or petit putti, as I call them.
  • Pitti Palace cherubs: Pitti Putti!
  • Sad cherubs: Pity Putti
  • Try to handle one. Is it quite soft?
  • Yes! Putti Putty
  • Cherubic flatbread: Pitta Putti
  • Cherub that used to be called Simon before renamed by Jesus: Peter Putti
  • I was going to consider visiting Florence, but you are putti - ng me off.
  • Cherubic cherubs: Pretty Putti
  • Cherub sandwich: Putti Patty
  • Cherubic crazy golf: Putting Putti
  • Strokable cherubs: Petting Putti
  • Small minded cherubs: petty putti
  • Raving cherubs: Party Putti
  • Toilet-training cherubs: potty Putti

Barcelona (March 2014)
  • Barcelona: beautiful. Gaudi: genius. Catholic cathedrals: putting the 'mental' in ornamental.
  • All Barcelona cathedrals do effectively favour Gaudi. However I just know, lately, many normal older people queued really slowly to understand very wierd xciting yellow zigzags.
  • The long tall pointy things on top of the cathedrals are very inspiring.
  • We jope you jave a jappy joliday.

Dubrovnik (March 2015)
  • Hellfire & Dalmatian! I feel a week of Croatianism coming on.
  • St Sebastian's leg: A gory leg Allegory.
  • Is that history, or just his story?

Wimbledon (July 2016)
  • Ace!
  • How the deuce did you get there?
  • A tactical advantage?
  • Balls, I'm running out of puns!
  • It was a coach pick up but then it was ... A set down!
  • Well de-served.

  • Bored d'eau? Well drink wine then!
  • Beware the Chateau - it's water from cats!

Where Am I?
  • I can see the River Medway and Grain Power Station.
  • Southend? Shoeburyneess? Canvey Island? Basildon even?
  • Shoeburyness!
  • They say that the best thing about Shoeburyness is that you can see the River Medway and Grain Power Station.
  • I have been to Dunge, Black, Self-ritious, Inver, many times to Happy, to Loch, Drunken, Serious-ill, occasionally to Sad, Silly  and Pointless, but NEVER to Shoebury!

Date Texts
  • I cleaned my teeth today at 06.07 08/09/10
  • Yesterday I had lunch at 12.34:56.7 8/9/10
  • Hi, I just celebrated 20:10 20/10 2010!
  • 11.01, 01/11/10
  • It is now 11:11:11 11/11/11
  • It is now 12.34:56.78 9/10/11
  • Later, it will be 20.12 20/12 2012
  • Now! 12.12 12/12/12
  • Now!!!  21.02 21/12/2012
  • Today is 9.11.13.  I cant work out when will be the next day when the date will consist of 3 consecutive odd numbers
  • It must be March 1st 2105. That is nearly 92 years away!
  • It will soon be 08.09:10 11/12/13
  • You beat me to it by an hour and a half
  • Seconds count!
  • 14.13:12 11/12/13
  • 13.12:13 13/12/13
  • Today is the feast of the Annunciation. So repeat after me, slowly and clearly, "HA-PPY BIRTH-DAY LIZ" [25 March 2015]
  • 21 June 2015: Happy Fathers' Equinox! [Dad's birthday is 21 March]
  • Today's date is 2²/2³/2⁴ [4 / 8 / 16]
  • Today is a palindrome day: 6/10/2016
  • Today I have been married for EXACTLY half of my life. [29/10/16]

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