Texting Dad

My Dad has an ancient phone, which only does calls and text messages. From time to time, we exchange text messages - often when I'm on holiday. Some of these seemed worth sharing…

Key

• Simon
• Dad

Prague (Sept 2011)

• Arrived in Praha! Have I got everything? Luggage - check! Guide book - check! Currency - Czech! All OK then...
• If you made friends with the barman and played chess with him,  would he end up as your Czech Mate?
• P.S. Thanks for sending your Czech Liszt earlier, but wasn't he Hungarian?
• Hope all is well and you are having a good day - Just Czeching!
• I assume that after your online passport date error, you had no problem at Luton Czech-in?
• Q.  Why did the person from Prague make an appointment with the doctor?  
• For a Czech up?
• When are you Czeching out of the hotel, why not ask if it is OK to pay by Czech.
• Q.  Do you know why it takes ages to do your shopping in a Praha supermarket?  A. Because there is always a queue at the Czech-out!
• Having had a Czech-ered few days (not really! Had a lovely time) it is good to Czech in to England. Now for a time czech ... One hour out! S

Spain (March 2012)

• Got here OK. Hotel lovely, hire car nice, weather completely balmy!
• Hello Muder, Hello Fader, We have made it, To Granada! Paid twice with plastic, Which sounds quite drastic, But it turns out the Alhambra is fantastic.
• Can't get enough of these Spanish castles. They're sooo Moorish!
• Gibraltar ROCKS!
• The 1527 Gibraltar earthquake: Rock AND Roll
• As the Fab 4 nearly once said: Back in the UK, Back in the UK, Back in the UKOK!

Battle (March 2012)

• Hear you are stuck in battle! Has your coach got an arrow in its headlight? S
• Moral  -  if you are going into Battle take an extra cohort or at least a squadron. Or a  battery
• Was your Battlery flat?

Brussels  (Sept 2012)

• Brussels bustles!
• Belgian's waffle!
• The hotel gym: muscles from Brussles!
• EEK! An E.E.C.
• In the spring, Brussels sprouts.
• 24/7 confectioners: Belgians choc' late!
• Belgian beer's bloody brilliant! But beware, Brussels' bistros buy boldly brewed beverages.
• #Brugeshasaniceburg.
• Carillon up the Belfry!
• Visions of the future c1958, @ @omium.

Snow (Jan 2013)

• Don't worry if your photos come out in black and white
• Why?
• Why? Cos neither Dunton, Bessels, Borough, or Green Street, are living up to their names. Don't tell me there snow snow  in London
• Snow!!! Snow!! Snow! S'no joke!

Slovenia (July 2013)

• Luvly-jubljana
• Ljubljana Tjubljana Threebljana Four
• This lake is Bleddy brilliant!
• Today I visited 3 countries in 3 seconds, and was chased through an electric fence by an angry cow! (Of the bovine ilk, one end moo, the other milk).

Florence & Pisa (Sept 2013)

• We're here! Easy-Pisa!
• Michelangelo painted tiny cherubs, or petit putti, as I call them.
• Pitti Palace cherubs: Pitti Putti!
• Sad cherubs: Pity Putti
• Try to handle one. Is it quite soft?
• Yes! Putti Putty
• Cherubic flatbread: Pitta Putti
• Cherub that used to be called Simon before renamed by Jesus: Peter Putti
• I was going to consider visiting Florence, but you are putti - ng me off.
• Cherubic cherubs: Pretty Putti
• Cherub sandwich: Putti Patty
• Cherubic crazy golf: Putting Putti
• Strokable cherubs: Petting Putti
• Small minded cherubs: petty putti
• Raving cherubs: Party Putti
• Toilet-training cherubs: potty Putti

Barcelona (March 2014)

• Barcelona: beautiful. Gaudi: genius. Catholic cathedrals: putting the 'mental' in ornamental.
• All Barcelona cathedrals do effectively favour Gaudi. However I just know, lately, many normal older people queued really slowly to understand very wierd xciting yellow zigzags.
• The long tall pointy things on top of the cathedrals are very inspiring.
• We jope you jave a jappy joliday.

Dubrovnik (March 2015)

• Hellfire & Dalmatian! I feel a week of Croatianism coming on.
• St Sebastian's leg: A gory leg Allegory.
• Is that history, or just his story?

Wimbledon (July 2016)

• I am ON THE CENTRE COURT!
• Ace!
• How the deuce did you get there?
• A tactical advantage?
• Balls, I'm running out of puns!
• It was a coach pick up but then it was ... A set down!
• Well de-served.

Wine

• Bored d'eau? Well drink wine then!
• Beware the Chateau - it's water from cats!

Where Am I?

• I can see the River Medway and Grain Power Station.
• Southend? Shoeburyneess? Canvey Island? Basildon even?
• Shoeburyness!
• They say that the best thing about Shoeburyness is that you can see the River Medway and Grain Power Station.
• I have been to Dunge, Black, Self-ritious, Inver, many times to Happy, to Loch, Drunken, Serious-ill, occasionally to Sad, Silly  and Pointless, but NEVER to Shoebury!

Date Texts

• I cleaned my teeth today at 06.07 08/09/10
• Yesterday I had lunch at 12.34:56.7 8/9/10
• Hi, I just celebrated 20:10 20/10 2010!
• 11.01, 01/11/10
• It is now 11:11:11 11/11/11
• It is now 12.34:56.78 9/10/11
• Later, it will be 20.12 20/12 2012
• Now! 12.12 12/12/12
• Now!!!  21.02 21/12/2012
• Today is 9.11.13.  I cant work out when will be the next day when the date will consist of 3 consecutive odd numbers
• It must be March 1st 2105. That is nearly 92 years away!
• It will soon be 08.09:10 11/12/13
• You beat me to it by an hour and a half
• Seconds count!
• 14.13:12 11/12/13
• 13.12:13 13/12/13
• Today is the feast of the Annunciation. So repeat after me, slowly and clearly, "HA-PPY BIRTH-DAY LIZ" [25 March 2015]
• 21 June 2015: Happy Fathers' Equinox! [Dad's birthday is 21 March]
• Today's date is 2²/2³/2⁴ [4 / 8 / 16]
• Today is a palindrome day: 6/10/2016
• Today I have been married for EXACTLY half of my life. [29/10/16]