I am the pastor of this Baptist church

Following on from my re-working of the 'Modern Major General' song a few weeks ago, my friend Rosa Hunt has composed this:












Captain/Pastor.
I am the Captain of the Pinafore!
I am the pastor of this Baptist church

Chorus/Choir.
And a right good captain, too!
And a right good pastor too!

Captain/Pastor.
We're very, very good,
My sermons are quite good
And be it understood,
But be it understood
I command a right good crew.
You should not act as I do.

Chorus/Choir.
We're very, very good,
Her sermons are quite good
And be it understood,
But be it understood
He commands a right good crew.
We should not act as she do.

Captain/Pastor.
Though related to a peer,
For my words are insincere
I can hand, reef, and steer,
I can simper, I can sneer
And ship a salvagee;
And snub a refugee
I am never known to quail
I am never known to cry
At the fury of a gale,
When one of you should die
And I'm never, never sick at sea!
And I never wash the mugs up after tea!

Chorus/Choir.
What, never?
What, never?

Captain/Pastor.
No, never!
No never!

Chorus/Choir.
What, never?
What, never?

Captain/Pastor.
Well – Hardly ever!
Well – Hardly ever

Chorus/Choir.
He's hardly ever sick at sea!
She hardly ever washes up with me!
Then give three cheers, and one cheer more,
Then – give three cheers and a chorus line
For the hardy Captain of the Pinafore!
For the worthy pastor in the pulpit fine,
Then give three cheers, and one cheer more,
Yes, give three cheers and a chorus line
For the Captain of the Pinafore!
For the pastor in the pulpit fine!

Captain/Pastor.
You're exceedingly polite,
You’re a very moderate crew
And I think it only right
And it really would not do
To return the compliment.
To encourage you to pray.
Bad language or abuse,
Theology and thinking
I never, never use,
Are for those whose boat is sinking
Whatever the emergency;
Platitudes the order of my day!
Though "bother it" I may
Though my phrases are fine-sounding
Occasionally say,
And my doxologies resounding,
I never use a big, big D
I never read the big big B.

Chorus/Choir.
What, never?
What, never?

Captain/Pastor.
No, never!
No, never!

Chorus/Choir.
What, never?
What never?

Captain/Pastor.
Well – hardly ever!
Well – hardly ever

Chorus/Choir.
Hardly ever swears a big, big D...
Hardly ever reads the big big B…
Then give three cheers, and one cheer more,
Then give three cheers and a chorus line
For the well-bred Captain of the Pinafore!
For the worthy pastor in the pulpit fine,
Then give three cheers, and one cheer more,
Yes, give three cheers and a chorus line
For the Captain of the Pinafore!
For the pastor in the pulpit fine!

Rosa Hunt

When searching for the image to use, I also came across this post, which for G&S Theology fans is worth a look:  “We are the Model of Today’s Episcopalian”